Out with the old in with the new

The New Year is an important time at work for many people  when there is often the need to communicate proposals for the year ahead to colleagues and clients. From sales plans to team re-structures to new business pitches, the common denominator for those driving the proposals is the hope that they will get the buy-in from their peers that they are looking for.

With this in mind it seemed timely to look at the phenomenon of ‘buy-in’ and to explore just how to get clients and colleagues on board, how to influence and inspire others, how to sell your ideas and how to overcome objections.

Remaining true to self
Before you can even hope to exert influence over others and convince them of your position, you must first have control of yourself.  Even the most knowledgeable industry expert or brilliant ‘ideas person’ will struggle to influence others if they do not come across well in person and cannot articulate their point of view appropriately. The balance of ‘head and heart’ - intellect and expertise, coupled with the physicality of the communication taking place - must be in place for success. By physicality I mean physical gravitas, such as tone of voice, posture and how one uses personal space,  rather than just  ‘body language’  - a term that has become debased by association with tricks of the trade that can suposedly be learnt by any individual to guarantee success. 

If only this ‘one size fits all’ approach really worked. In fact, quite the reverse happens. Forcing someone to adopt a behaviour that they don’t feel comfortable with can actually make them come across worse than ever. A softly spoken, reserved person who suddenly begins projecting their voice at some volume is obviously behaving unnaturally and their behaviour simply doesn’t ring true, either to themselves or their colleagues.

Doing what comes naturally
We all have a toolbox of natural communications skills we use in our everyday lives.  Rather than treating the workplace as an alien environment where we lose our ability to do the things we do as second nature outside the office, we can tap in to and develop this toolbox in our professional world.

Incidentally, the very fact we do these things as second nature is why we don’t find it easy to adapt them to other scenarios, such as the office.  Self-awareness is the key here.  If you begin to recognise where you are going wrong with that particularly difficult boss or tough meeting, you can consciously dip in to your natural toolbox to handle the situation more effectively.

Take personal space for example. You might find yourself in a coffee shop deeply engrossed in a book when in walk two friends unexpectedly who you invite to join you. Rather than continue in your own ‘bubble’ you expand your personal space to include your friends.  You do this naturally by opening up the space to them with your posture, eye contact, tone of voice and perhaps even expanding the physical environment by adding chairs and creating table space.

This is much the same when accommodating and including colleagues in a meeting. We are all no doubt familiar with the colleague who appears distracted in a meeting  - doodling on their pad, staring out the window or maybe appearing anxious with their arms folded avoiding eye contact. These people have physically closed off their space. Interestingly, these are people who have often ‘given up’ as they feel others ignore them or don’t listen to their point of view. However, others in the room read this behaviour as disinterest - as a sign not to disturb or include them.  As a result, they feel they excluded from the distracted individual's personal space.

Finding your centre
Many people fall in to the trap of appearing arrogant or lacking confidence because they are in fact trying to mask their anxiety about how to interact in such a setting. Whatever strategies and behaviours these people find to overcome this, there is a fundamental starting point sometimes, called ‘centring’, which is an essential step to feeling calm and ready for action.

Centring is about being physically ready to put our natural toolbox into play with maximum impact. When one is centred one is breathing calmly from the centre of the body and in control of the breathing and thought processes. Many of us have left a meeting thinking ‘why did I say that daft thing’ or ‘I left out that important bit about …’.  This is a classic example of being knocked ‘off centre’.  Being tense or unbalanced, often due to nerves or anxiety, we don’t pick up the clues.  What’s more, if we are not breathing properly we do not take in the oxygen we need and our brain is starved of the fuel it needs to think clearly.

The good news about centring is that we all know how to do it already - albeit unknowingly. For example, you are waiting at the bus stop when someone you’ve not seen for some time stops and says hello. At first you may become flustered, trying to remember their name, where they work now and if it was your turn to ring them to meet up. However, after the initial shock of seeing them you catch your breath and are able to converse articulately with all the information you’d forgotten coming back to you. This is your body at work centring itself without your even realising it.

Unlocking your potential
With many of the communications approaches we use in everyday life happening naturally and subconsciously, we have to learn how we can consciously use them when we are under pressure. And once we’re aware of our unique individual challenges - the things that knock us off centre - we can use our natural toolbox to overcome them.  When we do that our potential for influencing others and getting buy-in is significant.

Jo Ouston
January 2012